I’ve just had the lightboxes for answers rolled out to me….

… after months of dodging the bullet by using Safari.

… Yeeeeeech.

First suspect thing: how many months does it take to roll out a consistent Quora experience to all platforms? Really? Is that a feature and not a bug?

Second: Why does a “story” I’ve clicked stay shaded? What does that mean? That I’ve read it? What if the “story” was short enough that I didn’t need to click it? Why did I need these distracting shade trackers? Who asked for them?

Third: “Read 1 Answer”? Why “Read”? I wouldn’t know what “1 answer” means under a question?

Fourth: You’re hiding all the other “stories” with this zoomy lightbox thing? Why do you want to disorient me?

Fifth: When I keep scrolling your infernal lightbox down, I end up … scrolling it off the screen? What if I scrolled too fast? What if I wasn’t done with it? What visual metaphor has ever involved scrolling a modal window off screen, to begin with? Anywhere?

What visual metaphor scrolls a modal window halfway off the screen, so I can peer underneath? It’s meant to be a popup, not a convertible sunroof! Why do you make me doubt my sanity?

And if the popup is going to be a convertible sunroof, why does it disappear off screen when I’ve scrolled 3/4 of the way off the screen, rather than all the way off the screen?

And if the modal window is for a “story” shorter than a screenful, why is the modal window flush with the top of the screen, and not in the middle of the screen? Have you ever seen a modal window do that? Does Quora like disconcerting its users? (Don’t answer that.)

Sixth… I reload Quora (in another window) and lightboxes go away again. WTF?

And if that is a feature and not a bug, how can I ensure that I don’t get lightboxes back?

Seventh…

… WHAT DO THEY PUT IN THE WATER IN THE UX CANTEEN IN MOUNTAIN VIEW?!

EDIT: Eighth: The lightbox for when I answer a question… The brightness! It burns! (Because there’s all this gleaming white all of a sudden from a blank white modal window against a grey background; much more distracting than the old answer page, which was somehow just as blank.)

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