Can you write in the style of your favorite Quoran?

This request is as numinous as it is exorbitant. Some prominent Quorans might see fit to avail themselves of such phantastic jeux d’esprit, to while away the day under their corporate shackles. But the categorical imperative waits for no man. And a great joy comes to those who can peer behind the curtain of appearances.

And yet, all that we say and do here, none of it matters. Inane quia populare, as Augustine might have said, had he too been strapped to a chair and forced to watch ten episodes of Keepin’ Up With The Kardashians.

I will excuse myself from performing further for your bemusement. Step lightly, Yip Feckwad.

Michael Masiello does not write like this. But he should.

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