Should I change my surname when I get married? My name means a lot to me. I’m educated and have started a career, but more so I worry I will feel my identity is lost without it. My fiancé doesn’t mind either way, but I can’t decide.

Odd you’d A2A me, Anon. But OK.

I didn’t change my name once married, as it happens. I’m rather attached to Nick Nicholas.

My wife didn’t change it either. She had changed it on her first marriage; she’d gotten used to the new surname, and her professional identity was bound up in it. She now also uses my surname, but only in very limited contexts. In fact, Facebook and Quora are it; and she’s not on Quora much.

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